LOVE

 

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True Love


"Everyday I see you walk toward me, I feel my heart speed up and I smile. You love me for me and I love you for you. You're the best thing in my life babe!"

-Random Internet Comment

 

"Gay and lesbian people fall in love. We settle down. We commit our lives to one another. We raise our children. We protect them. We try to be good citizens."
-California Sen. Sheila Kuehl, D-Santa Monica 
 

"We love because it's the only true adventure."
-Nikki Giovanni

 

"No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love." 

-Rita Mae Brown

 

"Who would give a law to lovers?  Love is unto itself a higher law." 

-Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, AD 524

 

"There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love.  That's completely untrue.  Everybody wants to be loved."

-Boy George

 


LGBT People in Love

 

Matt Nathanson: Modern Love
Video: He Loves Me He Loves Me Not

Nothing Taboo: Love Song for the Outcast

Dare to Love
Be My Honeypie by the Weepies
Video: Comment on Love
The Ultimate Wedding Party

Short Film: Together Forever

Gay Kiss Demonstration in Paris on Valentine's Day

Weird and Annoying Questions Gay Couples Get Asked
Everybody Wants to Be Loved by Ingrid Michaelson
Video: Comment on Trust
What Does it Feel Like to Be in Love?
Different Kind of Love Song
Famous Same Sex  Couples
Gay & Lesbian Relationship Sites
What Makes Love Last?

Video: Comment on Commitment
All I Want is You from Juno Soundtrack
Wikipedia: Love

 

  


Relationship Stories


Listed here are video interviews with various everyday gay and lesbian couples talking candidly about their relationships, about the good times and the bad times, about their joys and struggles.

 

LINKS:

Laura & Fawn
Hattie & Amorie
Dick & Bob
Jan & Lauren
Jon & Robert
Octavia & Deborah
Eric & Stan
Steve & Mark

 


True Love

 

"Straight Americans need... an education of the heart and soul.  They must understand, to begin with, how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul."

-Bruce Bawer, The Advocate, 1998

 

"What are you trying to protect heterosexual marriages from?  There isn't a limited amount of love.  It isn't a non-renewable resource.  If Amy and Barbara or Mike and Steve love each other, it doesn't mean that John and Mary can't."

-Ed Fallon

 

"I met a young man who was wounded in love, I met another man who was wounded in hatred."
-Bob Dylan

 


Grindr: Gay On-Line Dating


August 2012

 

You may know the names of several good on-line dating sites, including e-Harmony, Match, Chemistry, Skout, Tingle, and Tagged.  You may be familiar with dating apps like Picksie and Blendr.  Have you heard of Grindr?

 

Grindr is the name of an on-line dating site and app for gay men.  It was first launched in 2009 by Joel Simkhai.  It is currently used in over 192 countries and includes millions of members; at any given time, 71,000 users are logged onto Grindr and close to a million users log into the mobile app daily.

 

Grindr has been described as the best "geosocial networking" service and a "revolutionary dating tool."  some have even called it the "scariest gay bar on earth."  Whatever the perspective, Grindr has made an indelible mark on the dating scene for gay men, winning many prestigious awards.

 

Grindr offers an uncomplicated dating service. You simply download and open the application onto your mobile device. You choose a profile name, upload a photo of yourself, answer a couple of questions, and sign into the application.  Grindr is a GPS location-based service app that will quickly and easily locate other users in your immediate area.

 

(From Kaitlin Moore)

 

LINKS:

 

All You Need to Know About Grindr
Grindr Home Page
On-Line Dating University

Carnival of On-line Dating

Gay Dating Sites
One Good Love

Rules for LGBT Dating

 


Love Songs and Romantic Videos

Spanish Love Song

Maren & Katharena

Oh My God

Only You

This Kiss

Another Meaning of Love

 


Love Story: Girl Meets Girl

 

I met her one evening in a club in Atlanta.  I quickly became captivated. She was very intelligent and open. She had this appealing curiosity about the world. We talked for hours until the club closed. I saw her there again the following week. We talked some more and started down the road to friendship. But alas -- I was to leave that weekend to go back to Florida. I gave her my address.

 

And so a whole chain of letters began. They started out as the "getting to know you" type but then moved on to secret dreams and thoughts.

I was so thrilled when her letters arrived. I'd give a little yip of excitement whenever I found one in my mail box. With every letter I became a little more enthralled with her. So we started to see each other. I would drive up to Atlanta every few weekends and we made the ordinary magical.

 

Grocery stores suddenly became happy wonderlands, all because once we went to one together to pick something up and ended up chasing each other around with various food items, sneaking kisses while no one was looking. Cafes became great places at which to spend hours because we could sit together to talk and gaze into each other's eyes. I spent the whole month of December in Atlanta. That was perhaps the happiest single month in my life. I spent it being immersed by her presence. The things we did were fabulous. Once we went up into the Georgia Mountains and we found a wooded valley with a stream. We cuddled under a blanket while we fed each other little finger foods.

 

But soon my worst fears came to pass. I went back to Florida, and within a couple of weeks I received the goodbye letter from her. She felt things had gotten too intense and she just wasn't ready for that. Could we back off and be friends? I cried my heart out. The pain was just overwhelming.

 

I never told her I loved her. I honestly didn't know that I was in love. It had never happened before. I was so caught up in the swell of feelings that I never questioned what I was feeling. Never put a name to my emotions. But this story has a happy ending.

 

A year later, I got a call from her on Valentine's Day. We saw each other that week. Ever since we have gotten together from time to time to talk in some café a couple days out of every year, and something grand has grown. We've built a loving union that isn't quite a relationship, but is something more than just a friendship.  I finally got to tell her that I loved her, and she came to accept it after a while. She started to tell me that she loved me. This made me angry at first, because I love her romantically, and I knew the love she spoke of was friendship. Her equating the two seemed to diminish what I felt.

But I too have come to accept her love. Our feelings are equal because although they are different in substance, they are the same in their fierce intensity.  I always tell her that one day, sixty years from now, I'll show up on her doorstep bearing flowers and telling her yet again how much I love her.

 

(From Ember.Org / Gay Love Stories)

 


Ellen and Portia in Love

 

Video: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi
Video: Ellen and Portia - Loving You
Video: Ellen and Portia - Crazy For You
Video: Ellen and Portia - Gift of Love
Video: Ellen and Portia - Stole My Heart

 


Love is Insane... Really

 

Finally there is scientific validation for the insanity one feels when we fall in love. Researchers have discovered that the brain's chemistry of infatuation is akin to mental illness, which gives new meaning to the phrase "falling madly in love."
 

The research findings, reported in the February issue of National Geographic, also found that the cocktail of brain chemicals that spark romance are not the same as the ones that foster long-term commitments. So as we celebrate Valentine's Day, we might want to think (which is almost impossible when one's brain is flooded with the delirium of passion) about the longer-term consequences of our libidinous desires.
 

Those who have felt the unrelenting craziness of passionate love know that reason and reality fly out the window once one's true love enters the scene. Work, bill paying, responsibilities, sleep - even getting regular food - can all fall apart, and we find we have unlimited energies to devote to our beloved. The good news is that the brain has a built in protection mechanism. The insanity doesn't last.

 


 

Researchers found that the brains of people in love respond similarly to when it gets a surge of dopamine. Cocaine users describe an increasing tolerance for the drug as time goes by, and a need for more and more of a fix, and lovers' brains do the same thing. After a while the high just wears off. Although the loss of the rush can be a letdown, for those who need to hold down a job and keep the utilities on, it is probably a good thing.

 

That is not to say that passionate love cannot morph into long-term happiness. Many couples in the studies reported that their first blush of passion was overwhelming, but that as time went on the irresistible urge to bed each other became tempered by another desire, to talk to each other and spend time having fun together in other ways. The relationships that stand the test of time are the ones in which the lovers discover that they actually like each other, as well as drive each other mad with desire.

As each of you celebrate this day of love, we encourage you to enjoy the unquenchable thirst that our brain chemistry provides when we find the one that turns us into that lunatic we hardly recognize as ourselves. Relax and enjoy it. It should be a relief to know that you are not permanently insane, just crazy in love.

 

And if you're lucky in love too, the one that drives you mad between the sheets will be the same person that you like talk to across the dinner table. Happy Valentine's Day!

(From PrideSource, 2006, Between The Lines News)

 


Art of Lesbian Dating
 

Q: What's one of the trickiest aspects of the lesbian dating scene?

A: One of the things that I hear ladies talking about the most is how both parties are afraid to be the aggressor. We were all raised with, um, let's see -- zero vocabulary for initiating sex. In fact, for the most part I'd say that those of us raised female are taught that the only way to get dates is to flirt and be coy and hope someone comes along and demands that you go out with them. It's easy with guys; you pretty much just have to stand there and someone will come along and start hustling you for a date. I'm not saying this never happens with girls, but it's rare. If you want to be successful with the ladies you gotta learn to make a move.


 

Q: How can a woman tell by another woman's body language if she's available and interested?

A: If she's out and by herself, she probably doesn't really want to be alone -- if she did she'd stay home. It's also promising if she's at a table of girls who all seem to be friends. Go ahead and approach her. Ask her a simple question. Check her out in a way that makes her feel hot but don't go overboard or it will seem like you just got out of jail. If she leans into you when you talk to her, it's a sign she's interested. If she likes you, she will encourage you to pay attention to her. She'll ask you to join her, she'll laugh at your jokes, and she'll listen to you.

 

Q: OK, so what's the next step?

A: I always recommend flattering the object of your attention. Compliment her appearance, her intelligence, her singing voice or whatever it is you notice about her. A long, slow glance and a sweet smile will always get someone's attention. Approach with confidence and ask a girl you're interested in if you can buy her a drink. Try asking her to dance with you or to join you at your table. Listen to her as she speaks, and ask her questions about herself. Whatever you choose, don't ogle her -- you'll seem like a pervert.

 

 

Q: How do you deal with your advances being rejected?

A: Being out in the dating world means occasionally facing rejection. If your self-esteem is intact, rejection won't register as much more than a tiny blip on your radar. Reminding yourself on a regular basis that you are attractive and worthwhile can help you start believing it about yourself. Remind yourself as often as you can that you are desirable, but keep in mind that doing so doesn't mean that every person will desire you.

 


 

Q: What are some of the best and worst places to meet other women?

A: You know where we meet each other? Through other dykes. For one thing, we recycle exes. Another thing is we all know each other, so we're good at fixing up friends with friends. If you are single and looking, make it known. Tell everyone you know that you want to meet someone. Go to parties or throw a party and tell all your friends that they have to bring along one person you don't know. Get out, get involved. Turn your flirt on and smile at every pretty girl you see.


Joining an activity group of some kind expands your social circle dramatically. Start dropping in on your friend's book-club meetings or get involved with a film festival. You'll meet new people to whom you may be attracted, and you'll also have access to all the people your new friends know, and you may find that you like one of them.


Check out queer film festivals, erotica readings, art openings, yoga, the gym, dance clubs, bars, the library, Pride festivals, activist groups, feminist organizations, LGBT organizations (especially good if you're just out), or any queer-sponsored event.

 

Q: OK, and the worst places?

A: In my opinion, the worst place to meet women are at giant drunken lesbian events like Dinah Shore. You might meet someone, sure, but she might not remember you the next day.


(From Chelsea Kaplan / Match.com's Happen Magazine / Deputy Editor of thefamilygroove.com / Regular guest on XM Radio's "Broad Minded" and WBAL Baltimore's "The Shari Elliker Show"  / Her blog, "I'm Somebody's Mother?" can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com)

 


Cute Lesbian Couples

 

Tumblr is a microblogging internet platform and social networking website that allows users to post multimedia and other content to a short-form blog.  Users can follow other users' blogs, as well as make their blogs private.  Users can post text, photos, quotes, links, music, and videos.

 

 

A Tumblr blog calling itself "Cute Lesbian Couples" invites lesbians to submit pictures and stories of themselves and their girlfriend and view the hundreds of beautiful photos of other lesbian couples and accompanying romantic commentary. 

 

 

It's hard not to be impressed by the wonderful portraits of couples in love and inspiring and heartfelt declarations of love and affection.  And it's easy to agree that these truly are "cute lesbian couples."  Visitors are encouraged to add to the growing collection of images and quotes.

 

 

LINKS:

 

Cute Lesbian Couples Part 1

Cute Lesbian Couples Part 2

 


Love Links

 

Famous Same Sex Couples
Gay & Lesbian Relationship Sites
What Makes Love Last?
Dating Milestones

Valentine's Day Love Quotes
Celebrate Valentine's Day
Writing Love Letters
Send a Valentine's Day Card

Valentine's Day Poems
Valentine's Day Facts & Info
Teaching Love & Acceptance
Love & Pride
Gay Valentine's Day Cards
Out in the Mountains

Time Magazine: Are Gay Relationships Different?
One Good Love

Gay Dating Sites

Alternatives to Marriage

LGBT Domestic Violence & Abuse
LGBT Scotland Relationship Advice
Family Institute: Tips for LGBT Couples & Families
Internet Resource Guide for the LGBT Community
Amazing Dreams Publishing Co.
Bi The Way: Lesbigay Resources
Queer Theory: Queer Families
In The Family
Story Digest

UCSB Sex Info
Gay Law Net
Handy Dandy Relationship Advice
Gay Love And Sex Advice
Quote Cache: Love
Whispy: Gay Relationship Advice
Queer Theory: Relationship Resources


 


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ALGBTICAL

Association for Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transgender Issues in Counseling of Alabama